Confession

いじめを苦に自殺してしまった生徒のニュースが胸に痛いです。

It sounds way too familiar to me.
I cannot believe that I survived.

I thought I would be dismissed.
I thought teasing without violence, teasing in terms of nasty mental attack didn't count as teasing. School didn't admit that isolation was a form of serious teasing for the longest time.

I didn't tell anyone.
I kept it myself.
I kept myself in my room.

Until one day, someone showed me a different point of view.

I DON'T HAVE TO BE THE SAME AS EVERYBODY.

This concept, new way of thinking, literally freed myself.
Freed myself from struggling to be the same as others, from wanting to be liked by people who didn't like me.

I did think of it.
I didn't carry out though.
But I thought about freeing myself in the worst possible way.

I wish I had the power for those who are struggling in school in isolation to put my hand on their shoulder and tell them; "You are great. You don't have to be anything else."